Definitions of Humor

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You Know You have a 
Bad Mall Santa When...

10. Instead of saying, “Ho-Ho-Ho,” 
he exclaims “Oy vey!”

9. He asks the mothers if 
they want to sit on his lap.

8. His credentials include a Playgirl Centerfold.”

7. You recognize him as a former NFL star 
doing Community Service hours.

6. He avoids the the food court 
unless his lawyer is present.

5. He refers to the wishing fountain 
as his “tip jar.”

4. He won’t talk to the kids 
without a disclaimer.

3. He asks the kids to leave him 
milk and ATM cards.

2. He becomes the new 
cigarette lobby spokesman.

1. Before the kids sit on his lap 
he orders the elves to frisk

Humor Matters™

Steven M. Sultanoff, Ph.D.
Mirthologist and Clinical Psychologist
3972 Barranca Pkwy. Suite J-221
Irvine, CA 92606